Scotland again, innit

Hello. Is this a third blog post in three days? Wow. I must be bored.

Nah, not really. I am feeling a bit floaty and disconnected right now, but that’s not boredom. It’s just me trying to reset after far too long being addicted to social media and view counts. I’m really starting to understand how deeply I feel that I’m always supposed to be doing something, so I have a habit of reaching for Instagram to show people how busy I am all of the time.

Today I spent my morning outside in the rainy garden garden watching birds. I took my sketchbook out there but didn’t open it for an hour at least. I often wonder if being able to enjoy doing barely anything means I’m confusing boredom with guilt or shame most of the time, rather than actually feeling like I need activities to enjoy myself. I actually love sitting in the rain and waiting to see what might appear, but it’s not something you feel like you’re allowed to do as a responsible adult. Not until you’re retired, at least.

When I did start to draw today, I started with a literal sketch of what I could see. I was going to colour it with some brush pens, but I’d forgotten to bring water out with me to paint. After that I decided to draw the landscape in front of me in a more abstract way, purposely aiming for a looser representation of the hill and trees, rather than my default of trying to get it picture perfect. I’m really trying to push myself to make art that’s unique to me at the moment, so drawing what I see without drawing what I see is a challenge I’ve set for myself.

Mark joined me outside after a little while. Apparently he’d been wandering around the house trying to find me first, but soon realised I’d be outside watching birds. He spent some time using an app to identify the birds we could hear, which was a surprisingly long list. We also spotted a rabbit hopping around and hiding in the foliage. It was a lovely peaceful morning really.

We’re going back into Hawick for lunch today, but I’m not really looking forward to a boring tomato pasta dish. I actually would rather take a nap right now, but I’m not going to be weird and request that I stay back and leave Mark’s family to have lunch without me.

I’ll report back if anything interesting happens today.

It’s me, reporting back. Hours have passed on my side, so please try to imagine those three asterisks as a long pause, okay?

The rest of the day has been pretty chill, just as I’d hoped. Lunch was at a quiet but tasty Italian place in Hawick, where I decided to have spinach based dishes for both a starter and a main. I’m definitely going to be smelling of garlic tomorrow, but it was worth it.

Mark and I didn’t want desserts, so we went out for a wander while his family got some. We looked in the distillery over the road, then thought about going to the art gallery, but decided to just sit on the benches in the park instead.

Before we left we had a go on the see-saw in the playground, which of course I waved at Mark’s parents from as they left the restaurant. Sometimes I feel self conscious about my choices to live like a child in their late 30s, but then I remember how much fun I’m having.

When we got back to the house we decided to just switch off and watch some of the DVDs we had available. We chose Baby Mama and Jerry Maguire for that easy rom com energy. Sometimes it’s nice to see something you haven’t seen before and not think too hard about plot or how good something actually is.

I’m having an early night now because we’re planning to go to Edinburgh tomorrow for a wander around some art galleries. Can’t be bothered to be funny here though so bye!